The Power of a Handwritten Letter

One of the things I don't like about technology is the fact that it has given people an excuse not to write letters anymore.  Letters used to be the only way that people with distance between them could communicate.  When is the last time you sat down and wrote a letter? Can you imagine being a mother in Europe whose children have all sailed for America?  Can you imagine saying good-bye, knowing that you probably would never see them again and that your only link to them would be handwritten letters?  When I really sit down and think about a scenario like this, I realize that every time I think I am so adventurous in all of my travels, I am truly a wimp.  I don't believe I could have withstood a prospect such as this and yet it's something that our ancestors faced or we wouldn't be here. When I started my genealogy research in the 90's, I received a letter in the mail that will forever color my opinion about emails and my belief about the importance of letters.

We have to have a little family history lesson before the story of "the letter" will make sense . . . bear with me.  As a child, my cousins and I  heard plenty of stories about Grandpa Wyant's family and his famous Civil War grandfather who died with a silver dollar in his head - perhaps one of the only men in history who actually "took at least a little bit of it with him!"  The stories of Grandpa "Hole in the Head" as my son called him when he was little abounded but we never heard much about the Colorado family that Grandma Wyant grew up in.  So naturally, I was curious.  That curiosity grew when I discovered the death certificate of Mary Culver.

Mary's death certificate led to stories that Grandma Wyant might not have even known - the story of her maternal grandmother's family.  The story of Grandma Wyant's family goes all the way back to the year 1635 when our first ancestor in America, Edward Colver (later changed to Culver) came from Middlesex, England to the Massachusetts Bay Colony.  His family grew and prospered in the east and for eight generations, Culver was the family name. The Culver family moved from Massachusetts to Connecticut to New York state.

The Courthouse in Little Valley, Cattaraugus County, New York
where the Culvers lived.

The earliest picture that we have of a Culver - 7th Generation.
Noah Culver ~ Born 1779 ~  Died 1864 ~

When the ninth generation was born, two major changes took place: 1) the first girl in our family line, Mary Culver was born, eventually leading to her marriage and the change of the family name to Murray, and 2) the family became true pioneers by moving to Gold Hill, Colorado Territory in 1860 during the gold rush.

The family name of Culver would have been lost had it not been for the man that Mary Culver eventually married, Alexander Murray.  Mary's father, Lyman Culver, died in New York (1851)  just a year after Alexander was born in far away Scotland.  But when Mary Culver Murray died in 1911, he supplied all of the information about her family on her death certificate.  This was the key that opened the door to over 200 years of Culver family history.

Mary Culver and Alexander Murray married in 1879.  They raised their two daughters, Margaret Silver Murray and Rachel Culver Murray in Colorado on Ralston Creek .

Rachel and Margaret Murray

The ranch on Ralston Creek was purchased for the family by Mary's Chicago real estate tycoon sister, Helen Culver. Eventually, the Ralston Creek land would become the city of Arvada (with streets named after the family) and the ranch would be the summer get-away for the Wyant boys from Indiana.

We don't have a picture of Mary Culver but these are her sisters and brother
Aurelia, Helen, Robert, and Susan 

So back to the letter story.... while I was researching our family, I met a cousin who was from Culver City, California (yes, part of our family went on to California).  We communicated back and forth for a while, knitting the family history together between us and one day I received a note from him saying that he had something that really should belong to me and that I should expect a package.  What a mystery!

The package finally arrived and when I opened it, five yellowed envelopes fell out. Each envelope was addressed in the most beautiful cursive handwriting, postmarked between 1910 and 1935, and  stamped with two cent stamps. They each were addressed to Amelia Cole in Longmont, Colorado and they were coming from Mrs. J. P. Miller (Margaret Silver Murray Miller) from Boulder, Colorado.  Amelia and Margaret were cousins.

In case you don't know much about Colorado, the distance between Longmont and Boulder is only about 14 miles.  These two women lived 14 miles apart and they wrote letters to each other.  Yes, times have changed.  Of course this is not the first thing that I thought of when I opened the letters.  My first realization was that I was holding in my hands five envelopes that were addressed by my great grandmother, a woman who knew she had a great grandchild coming but who never lived to know my name or gender.  She died in December of 1953 and I was born a little over three months later.  My hands were shaking as I opened the envelopes to read.

Before I share one of the letters, I want to point out that if email had been king in 1911, we wouldn't have these little glimpses into the life of one of our grandmothers . . . which is why I urge everyone to keep in touch with the email, but drop a handwritten note to someone you love every once in a while.  You never know what it might mean to someone someday - someone that you don't even know right now.

Margaret's first letter

Postmarked March 29, 1910 at 5:30 PM at Boulder, Colo

Return Address:                                  After 5 days, return to
                                                            Mrs. J.P. Miller
                                                            R.D. Route No. 2
                                                            Boulder, Colo.

Addressed to:                                          Mrs. J.A. Cole

                                                               Longmont, Colo

                                                               R.D. No. 5

            The letter is written on stationary from the Local Union No. 578

                                        International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers and reads. . .

Boulder , Colo

March 30th, 1910

Dear Amelia,

John saw Mr. Dalton a few days ago and asked him about the cider and he said to put one pound of mustard seed to eight gallons of cider and keep corked up tight.  I had intended to go down there some day and ask them about it but Amelia it is almost impossible for me to go anywhere unless I work till I'm all tired out and then I'm too tired to go.  I washed four big lines of clothes today and I feel like I have done something.  Last week I cleaned house.  It's early yet but my house is small and gets dirty so quick and I have so awful much sewing to do that I must get at it. 

The babies and John and I are all well and again I'm just sick over one thing.  I lost my diamond set out of my ring.  It has been out of the ring for some time and here the other day I was opening the box I had it in and it slipped out and I saw it hit a little glass thing on the dresser and where it went from there I don't know. We have hunted and hunted and given up and I just feel so bad I don't know what to do.  John says someday he will get me a new set of some kind to put in the ring.

I had a letter from Rachel a few days ago.  She is sick in bed just now for a few days.  She had a mishap at three months.  I was down home not long ago.  Rachel's boy is a fine little fellow and Rachel is nearly as big as Henry.  She weighs over one hundred and eighty five pounds.  I'm not so tiny since Helen was born.  I weigh about one hundred and sixty pounds. 

I expect you think I have forgotten you but don't get time enough to write very many letters.  How are all the folks?  I would love to see the baby.  Anyone can call me at Noel Ward's Red 134.  They live only a few steps from us.  

Must close for now for it's getting late and I'm awful tired.  I'll try and write oftener. 

Yours lovingly,

Margaret 

At the time that Margaret wrote this letter, her "babies" would have been Irwin (age 3), our grandmother, Alberta (age 19 months), and Helen (age 5 months).  She would be "in the family way" soon after this letter was written because her next baby, Ruth, was born a little over a year after this letter was written.

The Millers
Margaret Murray Miller is holding Alberta and Irwin
John Pierson Miller is holding Helen and Ruth

Wyant women . . . our grandmother had many of the same worries and concerns that we did/do as young moms . . . she felt overwhelmed frequently and there was always more work to do than hours in the day; she worked hard for her family; she felt guilty for not keeping in touch with the people she cared about; she gained weight after babies; cared about her sister;  and she loved her diamond ring.  What more could you want in a woman?  Wyant men . . . our grandfather knew diamonds were very important!

One hundred and one years apart . . . but not so different . . . except that technology thing!  Really . . . she had to use her neighbor's phone??  And I'm guessing Red 134 was not on anyone's speed dial!